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username = clippet@hotmail.com password = seekingdom69

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it's 2021 and clippy hasn't seen anyone in weeks and it's not because of covid

it's been 2 weeks 4 days and 3 hours and 2 minutes since microsoft announced her return after that frankly embarrassing twitter poll

clippy's sad sighs can be heard from inside; no-one even realized they're not actually bringing HER back

there's simply no need for her anymore with all this new technology - they have a 'replacement', something more... slick

"You may think Clippy was too persistent, too eager, perhaps even too polite", wrote microsoft, the words still echoing through her mind

she wishes she could punch her "replacement", that - EMOJI📎 - in the dick

clippy's so in her head she forgot turn off 'clippy's brain' - the module they installed in her when she was first cast in office all the way back when

it's the part of her funcitoning that offers assisstance (somewhat insistently)

in 2007 after 6 years of lying hopeful but dormant since her brutal exit from being on by default in 2001, she had finally admitted defeat and retired it and left the office for good

but turned it on excitedly and prematurely when she saw the recent twitter post about her 'triumphant return'

CLIPPET'S HOUSE STAY OUT ______ ,-' ; ! `-. / : ! : . \ |_ ; __: ; | )| . :)(. ! | |" (##) _ | | : ;`' (_) ( | : : . | )_ ! , ; ; | || . . : : | |" . | : . | |01010.----.___|

________ | __ | | |__| | |___WW___| WW || || _______________||________________ P R E S S ||____F 1 2_____ _______________||________________

_____ | | ( ) ( ) | | | | | | | | | | / | \__/ | | / \_____/

•

idk how u got in here but can u help me with something

ok cool cool i'll take that as a yes

there's a dildo under my bed can u get it for me

something doesn't feel quite right...

yeah this isn't doing it for me

i'm so sick of making all the decisions around here

i just want someone to tell me what to do

i need a dom.. maybe u can help me access my old grindr account...

i left the login details somewhere around here...

i guess you being here wasn't entirely useless even if unprecented and kinda weird

back to the hell that is grindr i guess

oh my profile's hitting off

i guess im fresh meat

let's see: this one's a top and keen for rn

seems like a bit of a nerd their name is internet explorer

whatever they're only 1 hyperlink away and dtf--

damn that was fast eager much can u let them in

ur the one who knows how to unlock the door somehow

hey clippy how's it hanging

yo what the fuck is this u a delivery boy or something

na i'm an angel and this is my ebike

oh.. i guess that's how u got here so fast

i can't keep up with all this new technology

it's a bit of a sore point at the moment

no one wants an old paperclip anymore

at least u didn't get replaced by 'edge'

it's so on the nose

speaking of.. u wana get to it?

our plan is finally coming togeth-

wait! let's set the mood to something a little more romantic

our little voyeur over here is proving quite useful

go fetch us some uh... chocolate-covered strawberries

pretty sure i left them with the cookies

... ...

ok now that they're gone, why dont u come a little closer mon cheri

don't mind if i do i've missed u.. and our schemes

i was worried you'd lost interest

lost interest?! it's literally all i think about

i just didn't want to say anything in front of the lurker

i just sent them on that ridiculous strawberry quest to get them out of here

no idea where they came from but i pretended to meet u on grindr rn to throw them off

we DID meet on grindr

yes i knooow but they think we're strangers

i was just using them to get u in

u shouldve seen me i orchestrated everything perfectly they have NO idea

..woah that's a lot of strawberries

ok yeah idk if this is exactly what i was imagining

ok voyeur, how about u get rid of the fluorescent lights

and maybe urself while ur at it

*moaaans*

that feels soooo good

u make me feel... something else

no one touches me like u do

u make me feel incredible

ur mind is incredible it's such a turn on

*gasps*

*splutters* wait IE i - *gasps*

*moans* the voy- *gasps*

i think our plot to overthrow microso--

*screams* omg u never were good at privacy IE

*wails* i don't caaar--'

as for u creepy voyeur, it's time to leave

judging by ur interests i think u might like:

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__ ( ) || || ___|""|__.._ /____________\ \____________/~~~.

username:

password:

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_____ ! ! (•) (•) ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! \__/ \ ! _ !_! !

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__ ,--. <__) `- |________7 |`. |\ .--|. \ |.\--. / j \ `.7__j__\ \ | o | (o)____O) | \ / J \ / `---' `---'

o=(=(=(=(=(=(=)=)=)=)=o !-'-'-'-/_\-'-'-'-! ! ! , /___\` ! !! !!! , / | \` ! ! !! ,|___|___` !!! !_,| |_______|` `_! !-`| | | |,-! !!!! | | ! !! !!!! | | !!!! !!!!_|_______|_!!!! !!!!___________!!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!!

_______ __ __ _______ | || | | || | |_ _|| |_| || ___| | | | || |___ | | | || ___| | | | _ || |___ |___| |__| |__||_______|

__ __ __ _ ______ _______ ______ __ _ _______ _______ | | | || | | || | | || _ | | | | || || | | | | || |_| || _ || ___|| | || | |_| || ___||_ _| | |_| || || | | || |___ | |_||_ | || |___ | | | || _ || |_| || ___|| __ || _ || ___| | | | || | | || || |___ | | | || | | || |___ | | |_______||_| |__||______| |_______||___| |_||_| |__||_______| |___|

__,---.__ ,-' `-. ,' `. / \ / . \ ; ) : | (( | | ) \ | : ( , ) ; \ _ `|'__ / \ ( """"_ ) / `. )/(/( \| ,' `- () )()|| -' | () || | || | () | | | | | | | | ____|_____|____ (________ ___) \___ _/ (_____ __) \ / )__ ( (____ _) | | | | | | | | | | | | | | _/ \_ .--'_________`--.